Getting Fit... Again | The Beginning Of The Problem
Todays post is going to be a lot of talking... and not much else...
I thought I would tell you a little bit about me and the struggles that I had/have with my weight.
When I was younger I was very thin... not anorexic thin or anything like that... but I had a good figure and a toned body! I did a lot of sport: I started ballet classes when I was only 3 years old and that was quickly followed by swimming lessons. I wasn't a hyperactive child, but I was always moving around, climbing trees, racing my friends, dancing,... I wasn't staying at home playing Nintendo or PS, that was just not me.
As the years went by I started drama lessons... And then I left ballet and started gymnastics, and then I changed gymnastics for volleyball and then I quit volleyball (basically because I played for the school team and I changed schools) and went to the gym and kept my swimming lessons... I was always very active and loved doing sports (specially because I'm very competitive) so looking back I can't fandom why the well I literally stoped every activity when I went to college... And that's when I started having problems...
I was eighteen when I first started college, I guess I was the same age as most of you. For me this was a big change... and in a way it was a change I didn't welcome very well. I had plans for my life after high school and though they did included college they didn't included one in my home country.
I was (still am) adventurous and I wanted to see the world, meet new people, see new cultures... So I set myself to leave my home as soon as I finish high school. What went wrong? I fell in love... and he made me stay... made me give up on my dream of adventure.
You may ask if I regret it and for the longest time I would be stubborn and say that I didn't... but looking back: I do! I know it could have gone terribly wrong. I know that my life could have been in the same place it is now... but I will never know, because I never got to do it... so my first advice to you is "Better an ups than a what if!"
You may think that this part of the story doesn't have anything to do with my weight struggle, but it does...
So instead of the great adventure I set for college in my hometown and I choose graduation that I thought I would like... but I didn't liked it at all. Basically because I though in my graduation I would get to be creative and stuff but instead I got to calculate and calculate and calculate a crap tone of stuff... And my time in college wasn't hearts and flowers either... I met some of the stupid, self centered, mean and repulsive people I ever met in my entire life!
I should have changed, but i didn't because I didn't wanted to loose a year... I end it up loosing a lot more than a year, so my second advice to you is "Don't be afraid of change! Change is difficult and hard, but it's also good. There is no growth without change"
And by the time I was eighteen I went to my doctor because I had problems with my period (TMI?) so I started taking the pill to decrease my flow.
So let's recapitulate, I started college and was disappointed because I was in the "wrong graduation" and in the "wrong country".
I quit sports because I was starting to get depressed and between classes and boyfriend I didn't got much free time. And because I was getting depressed I started eating a lot more and a lot more crap (didn't helped that my boyfriend liked to eat crappy food all the time as well)... And let me tell you, that for thoses of you that were lucky enough to start taking the pill and did not gain weight... Well I hope you burn in hell (just kidding... But I am green with envy) I gained 10 kilos just from the pill... And although my doctor tried to change it to minimize the weight gain it was a waste of time... the ones that didn't add on the pounds gave me incredible stomach pain, so we ended up deciding on the first one... the one that would make me gain weight (and it did... son of a bitch).
Obviously, because I gain weight from the pill I got even more frustrated and starting eating even more...
I'm laughing at how stupid I was back then... Literally laughing while writing this... because is idiotic and the answer to my "problem" was always right in front of my nose.
Looking back I should have went to the gym I burned thoses extra pounds... I should have kept exercising for my heath, both physical and mental. You know that old saying: "Healthy body, healthy mind"? Well that's my third advice to you!
We as humans need to exercise! That's it! We need to move! We weren't made to be sitting on our asses all day!
And let me tell you, the less exercise you do, the more tired and out of energy you will feel.
I made several attempts in reducing my weight and I have to say that I never really committed to none of them.
I was getting more fat by the day, I was eating crappy food, I didn't wanted to move and I felt more and more tiered... It was a snow ball.
I never committed to any of my diets, first because I only did food diet... and eventually I would get to the point where my weight would not lower... and I would get frustrated and start eating crap food again!
And in the rare occasions that I tried to incorporate exercise back into my life and into my diet it was too hard. First of all I got frustrated because I wasn't able to exercise like I used to... In the beginning 3 minutes of exercise would live me breathless (yes I know its pretty lame and that's what made me quite over and over again) and then in the next day my body was so sore I could barely move... I hate to feel pain.
But about a month ago, I looked into the mirror and for the umpteenth time I did not liked what I saw... I look into the mirror and I don't see myself (don't take this the wrong way! I'm not body shaming anyone! If you like the way you look, fat or thin, more power to you. And I'm seriously happy for you!) But I'm not happy about how I look. And it's not because of what society thinks... It's because I feel tiered all the time, it's because my clothes don't fit well, it's because I feel bloated all the time,...
I guess that for many years I saw in the mirror the image that I wanted to see... Everytime I would see a picture of me taken by someone else I would just think that they choose the worst angle to take the damn picture... Believe me: "It's not the angle!!"
But now, reality has come strait at me like a fast train... and I see the truth... and I don't like the truth... We all have an image of ourselves in our head and mine doesn't match the girl in my mirror!
So I decided to do something about it... after all the girl in the mirror can change if I change as well. It's up to me, it was always up to me to change things!
I decided to move my ass out of the couch and do some exercise... and I decided to start with something that I always loved: DANCE!
I have been loving listening to Justin Bieber Sorry (Latino Remix version) and that music always puts me in a mood to dance. So I normally start with that one. Sometimes I will just dance and some others I will do a little of aerobics too. Truth is, I got a blast out of it... It always puts me in a good mood. After one week I decided it was time to do some ab work as well and almost in the next day I decided that walks wore in order!
I started by doing this twice a week... but by my second week of exercise I was already craving more... So now I'm doing exercise almost everyday (I just don't do it if something major happens) because I got addict to it. And I have to be honest, everytime I saw someone bragging that they love exercise and that they are addict to it I couldn't understand it... and I still don't know what made me change my mind about it...
Now everytime that I feel my muscles sore I welcome the pain because it makes me feel alive, it makes me feel like I'm closer to reach my goal.
So my last advice to you today is: "Find an activity that you like to do and start with it and never ever give up!" It took me years to finally get my mindset strait and even though I know it will be hard to achieve my goal I know I will do it!
And if I can do it, so can you!
This was a little introduction to my new series "Getting Fit... Again"
I wanted to share my story with you, so if you are going through or already went through a similar problem, maybe you can relate. I did let myself go because I was frustrated and depressed with my life and gaining weight only add to my frustration and depression.
If you are frustrated with your life changed it, but if you can't change it, remember to always try to see the bright side of things and count your blessings!
I started changing my mindset (from pessimist to optimist) about two years ago... and it has been a journey, it's hard, but it's so worth it!
I would only focus on the things I couldn't achieve or the things that I didn't do... but now I celebrate the little things and I'm thankful to God everyday for every little blessing that He gives me.